Being Yourself Is The Key To Your Happiness!

Being your crazy self is the key to everything good!Being yourself is so much easier than you might think.

And being yourself is so much harder than it seems!

I’ve spent years not being myself.

Dressing up for job interviews when I knew it was going to kill me to keep up that level of grooming for the years I would work there.

Turning over a new leaf to wear more makeup and keep my hair fancily styled and groomed and then chucking it in after 4 weeks or so because it was just too much bloody effort! I had 4 small kids – how was I supposed to work, run the house, not lose any kids in the frenzy and still look like a supermodel. Something had to give and it was usually the supermodel part. I was happy to be super mum and keep all my plates spinning – I just had to do it without eyeliner and high-heeled shoes!

I’ve always been fairly outgoing and many people who know me who read this will wonder at me saying I was never quite being myself.

Although maybe not if they’ve spent any time with me since I started letting it all hang out!  These days they know I’ve embraced the whole ‘being yourself is the key’ thing!

I’ve always been pretty outrageous and said a lot of stuff that I thought. But that was me with my filter on. Now without a filter I’m even more outrageous than I ever was!

I’ve tried over the years to start businesses that never quite continued on. I’m really great at starting stuff and until the last two years didn’t really have the skills to finish. Unless you were paying me – as an employee I was wildly detail-oriented and met every single deadline. Once I was working for myself – not so much!

Even when I joined a direct selling or network marketing business I was still under pressure to not be myself. Not in so many words but all the training was very much along the lines of being vanilla!

Be quieter, don’t laugh so loud, wear business attire (even though it’s 40 degrees outside!), don’t wear bright colours, remember to keep your shoes on at ALL TIMES!

You’ll attract more people if you’re sensible they said. You’ll keep people in contact with you longer if you are more middle-of-the-road.

Big surprise why I never fully succeeded eh?  I was great for a while but I eventually couldn’t keep it up anymore.

I wanted to wear fluorescent yellow shirts!

I wanted to laugh loudly when something was hilarious!

I wanted to kick my shoes off under my desk or at an 8-hour seminar!

I wanted to hang out with people who had my warped sense of humour – I didn’t want the vanilla people to be attracted to me long term!

I wanted to just be myself – even if I didn’t fully realize it and tried really hard to conform.

I would get to a certain point in the whole merry-go-round and then the real Tracey would step forward and say “Oh Fuck Off!

Why can’t I use a pen with a feather on top?

Why do I have to be trussed up in a business suit that cost $300 when I’m speaking to people in their lounge room or backyard?

Why do I have to take second place to my husband when I’ve done all the work? Why am I even dragging the poor bastard along in his equally expensive suit on his one day off, when he just wants to go fishing?

I wanted to be myself!

I wanted to tell the truth!

I wanted recognition for my good work and I wanted it on my terms!

I wanted to know DEEP INSIDE that I was valued for me!

I wanted to laugh and laugh and laugh about stuff, even if it was irreverent or taboo. Even if people thought that’s not how a good girl should behave.

I’m not vanilla.

I never have been – for all my attempts!

I suspect that trying to be someone else only leads to bad things happening. I have first hand knowledge of this of course!

I once put baking soda in a complete wanker’s cup of coffee. After I’d been ordered to produce said coffee by his pretentious self, I was gazing out the window and thinking mutinous thoughts as I stirred the cup. As I was about to leave the kitchen, my eyes fell on the window ledge. Where a box of baking soda sat. The real Tracey suddenly stepped forward and stirred a spoonful into the coffee and to my absolute joy it dissolved! I was so gleeful as I delivered it to his royal highness. When he didn’t even look at me or thank me I knew I’d made the right decision.

To this day I wonder whether there were any after effects on the airplane home!

As you can see, trying to be something you’re not is never a good idea.

Being yourself is the key to everything good!

To prove my point I just bought a fluro yellow shirt yesterday and I’m SO wearing it today!

So get out there ladies and start being yourself I say!

Has anyone else done something naughty that they are sure was a direct result of trying to hide their true self? I’d love to hear about it in the comments – you can be anonymous if you want! Don’t be shy – share all the outrageous stuff – you’re amongst crazy friends!

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Being Yourself Is The Key To Your Happiness! — 22 Comments

  1. Yay for you Tracey!!!

    There is so much noise out there these days . People are craving authenticity within themselves and from those with whom they interact.

    I love that you chose YOU!! and Happiness!
    In the end, I firmly believe that without that deep alignment with your essence and your core values, you will live a life much higher in stress and struggle.

    Like you wrote, putting on makeup and a suit for you was like putting on a mask. I did it too way back in my early 20’s. Part of it was playing the part – part of it at that age was figuring out who I really was – an important development process for the twenties decade.

    In reality, I hated it. I was in sales and I used to schedule my calls to end up near the beach at about 3:30 or 4:00. It was too far away to get back to the office by 5, so I had no choice but to remove that suit in my car, slip into my shorts and T-shirt and go walk that beach!!

    BTW..that job lasted only a year. I was the top sales person and got fired for breaking the rules. Too much beach time. Too many coffee breaks. Thank goodness!! LOL!

    We are all on a never ending journey of getting more and more clear! Taking off the filter is so key, as you mentioned. Diving into your “story” and letting go of what no longer serves you is a daunting process, yet also soothing, opening and exciting!

    I love this post Tracey!
    Enjoy your weekend.

    Deborah Tutnauer recently posted…Success Coaching Through Stories – Live Workshop 1My Profile

    • Hey thanks Deborah – I always love reading your comments. Sounds like you were a sales person extraordinaire! Can you imagine letting your number one sales person go because they weren’t sticking by your limiting rules? That boggles my mind! I see Richard Branson just offered a section of his employees unlimited holiday time as long as they did the right thing by the company and their team – it would be great if this was the norm for corporations. I feel so much better now that I’m genuinely being myself. While I still take work contracts from time to time I don’t let any of those silly details annoy me any more…..and I make my own version of ‘walking that beach’ so I never drown in the hard stuff! Hope you had a great weekend and found loads of time to relax!

  2. People`s BIGGEST fear is fear of other people.Even people get to have a sense of admiration to those who have the guts to say it loud or be who they really are in public.

    Eminem, Will Ferrell, Kanye, D.Trump, Mark Cuban …. You may hate all these guys from the bottom of your heart, but still you kinda envy them for not being of others.

    Most people imprison themselves in “I should do this” and “I shouldn`t do that”, being your own self is not easy but it`s the best thing you can do to yourself.

    Nice one Tracey.

    • Hey Marwan – you could be onto something. I loathe Kanye! But as I’ve gotten older I’ve very much appreciated people who don’t give a shit and have the fortitude to just be themselves! Unfortunately for Kanye that includes being a complete idiot in public! lol

  3. Oh how I adore posts like this one!!

    Being yourself is often so underrated. People can say the words, ‘I don’t care what other people say’ but more often than not, they actually do and they give life to that feeling by going with the crowd. I’m totally guilty but now less so.

    I choose happiness too!!

    • You’re on it Tabitha. Saying you don’t care doesn’t make it so. Actually being yourself for better or worse is being the true you. I really love being so relaxed these days about who I am – I was pretty relaxed before but I was always making sure I wasn’t giving someone a reason to dislike me. Now I know they’ll either like me or not and I’m good either way! I still don’t go out of my way to stomp on someone else’s happiness though which is interesting. Sometimes I wonder if I’m not truly being me but I don’t think being yourself equals being mean to others.

      I’m still mulling this over in my brain!

  4. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson. Ain’t that the truth.

    This post is so f’n awesome! Haha. I love it. It’s so easy to conform in this life and not be true to yourself. But the funny thing is that people are drawn to those who are true to who they are and are unique, despite the fact that society teaches us we should be like sheep. I’ve always tried to tell the truth and say things as they really are. I’m working hard to not conform but I definitely feel the pressure to and for some reason I feel it more the older I get. Good on you for not being afraid to stand out and I love the story about the coffee. Gold!

    • Hey Christel – how funny – I’ve been the exact opposite. I toed the line so much when I was younger and these days I just say exactly what I feel. It was an interesting discovery that people seem to react how you expect them too. If you think they’ll be upset then they’ll seem like they are (even if they don’t care). And if you think you’re just asserting yourself and it shouldn’t affect them, it often doesn’t! I’m pleased to say I haven’t spiked anyone’s coffee lately!

    • I know what you mean about the foundation – my current one is years old. It probably needs to be replaced! Can’t believe no one has accused me of trying to poison that due yet! You’ve all been so kind!

  5. It is a sad fact of life that we feel under pressure to conform with expectations and that it means not being ourselves. My parents were very good in telling us that we should always be genuine because it would be easier to maintain in the long term. You say the same thing, it’s too hard to act over the long term. How much nicer and easier would it be if being oneself would be the new ‘black’ 🙂

    • You’re right Ulrike – it seems people are actually trying more and more to conform to what others think they should be doing. I think everyone has a right to be themselves, even if others are offended or unhappy about it. Being genuine is harder than it seems but it gets easier the more you do it!

  6. I just had to come back to this post Tracey, because I did something completely out of character for me…and yet it was another side of myself shining through!

    My daughter is an artist. She can draw and paint and create something beautiful from a pile of recycled stuff. She envisions how colors and shapes go together in a way that is almost unfathomable to me.

    I create in other ways, but stop short of feeling accomplished in my more visual artistic skills! LOL!! The other night I created a tee-shirt I’ve been thinking about for a few weeks. Me being me, it’s all words without graphics because I couldn’t decide on a appropriate image. But I like it. And it was fun to make. And I felt happy I did it.

    Occasionally I’ll sit down and paint with my daughter and she’ll tell me that I’m not a bad artist after all. It’s a part of me that does make me happy, even if it’s not a high level strength – so maybe I just do it and bring that piece out a bit more, since it does give me joy even as I laugh at my attempts!

    It took a crazy unexpected scenario to get me to sit down and create in the non-word or non-product realm. I’m glad I did! And I thought of this post of yours when I was done!

    Deborah Tutnauer recently posted…{True Story} Car Thief on the Run in your Neighborhood – How a Moment of Creativity can Comfort, Calm and Inspire Your Entrepreneurial BusinessMy Profile

    • Hi Deborah – What a cool story! I know just what you mean about all your creating being about blogging or products – I’m guilty of that too! I have fantasies that I can be a great artist but then the reality hits! I’m a great scrapbooker though so I guess that’s a start! I’m more about getting it finished rather than taking two hours to make a hand-made rose to stick on the page! And I’m getting better at taking photos too.

      Sometimes I wonder if I think I’m not very arty because of my perfectionist streak – not being able to settle on an image sounds like that too doesn’t it?

      Where can I see your T-shirt????

  7. Hi Tracey..

    In some ways I think maybe we are all more artistic than we give ourselves credit for. I agree, that the perfectionistic streak can put a damper on the willingness to just dive in and paint or design. Maybe a good mantra would be to “let it go” and just do something artistic for the joy of the process – like young children do all the time!

    The tee shirt can be found at There is also the story of the creation on my blog in the link below with an image and the link to the shirt! Thanks for asking! Maybe you’ll want one too and we can be twins when we wear them. Ha Ha.

    Deborah Tutnauer recently posted…{True Story} Car Thief on the Run in your Neighborhood – How a Moment of Creativity can Comfort, Calm and Inspire Your Entrepreneurial BusinessMy Profile

    • Every time I read one of your comments I think ‘Gee I’m glad I found her!!” I’m definitely getting a t-shirt! Twins – lol!

  8. Yes!! Get a Tee Shirt! It will take 22 more for them to print with the crowdfunding set up of the creation platform. When you get yours and I get mine, we’ll take pictures and then stitch them together using picmonkey or an editor like that! It will look like we were together and wearing our matching shirts!

    Yes! I’m thrilled I met you too Tracey!
    (Tee shirt link –

    Deborah Tutnauer recently posted…How You Do Something is How You Do EverythingMy Profile

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